Ornithophobia

When I was a kid, I had this dream of an ostrich. I was in a field of yellow grass, all alone and naked, when suddenly I heard a deep booming growl. At first I thought it was a lion, but then it stood before me. Ruffling its dark feathers and twisting its long neck, the ostrich stared down at me with large black eyes. We stood there for a moment, staring at each other. I reached out to touch the gigantic bird when all of a sudden I felt its foot crash into me, its sharp claws driving into my chest, cracking my ribs. Blood boiled up my throat and sputtered out my mouth as I laid in the grass, getting kicked over and over again by the beast until it drove its beak into my head. Waking me up in a pool of piss.

That dream haunted me as I grew up, kids even making fun of me and surprising me with ostrich plushies on my desk or locker. Making me cry or pee myself or both. Eventually I got over my fear, and no longer was the kid with the ostrich phobia. Soon I graduated college and it was summertime. My bank account had only a few hundred and I lost my gig at this pizza shop, so I ended up working at a gift shop at a zoo. They were hiring a lot of people for the summer time in every area, but somehow I ended up working in the gift shop near the ostrich habitat. 

I didn’t even realize the gift shop was right past the habitat. Arriving on the first day, I walked to the shop and I felt those large black eyes on me again, making me look in the birds’ direction. The ostrich was much larger than I could ever imagine, towering over the world with its bony legs. Extending its curved neck and swiveling its head, eye’s still beating down upon me. All at once, I felt like I was a little kid again, quivering and clutching my hands nervously. I wanted to run away and forget the job and felt this overwhelming dread cascade over me. I was pulled back to reality when this guy Mike came over and asked if I was ok. I nodded my head and realized he was wearing khakis and a green shirt that had a badge with his name on it. He worked at the gift shop I was assigned to, and asked if I needed water. I explained it was my first day there, he led me to the front of the shop, and I felt a sense of ease but also embarrassment.

There was no reason to be afraid of an ostrich, especially one that was behind a barrier. As the days went by, I became more and more relaxed, but everyday that Ostrich would just stare at me as I quickly walked by, focusing its entire attention on me. Everytime I went near the habitat, the bird would look at me, making my stomach flip. But everything went fine during the first month, it was just old childhood fears that never died, paranoia I told myself. Then it was Saturday evening.

It was my lunch break, and I went to the back room, punching in the code as I drank some orange pop, passing by Mike as he left and the door locked behind him. I was the only one in the room, eating some chips when the screaming started. It was Mike's voice I heard first, yelling profanities as other people screeched in terror. There was also this loud and fast thudding on the ground, with the sound of shelves crashing over, glass shattering. I heard Mike scream again and he started pounding on the door, trying to punch in the code, yelling, “Open up! Open—” There was then a loud thump on the door, causing it to shake. I stood up from my seat and rushed over, about to open it when there was that deep, booming growl again. Coming from behind the door, mixed with this hissing sound. At that moment I was a little kid again, naked and afraid, with the manic creature behind the door starting to pound on the door feverishly, denting the door so much it started to bend. Hit after hit after hit, I crouched to the ground and held my head, yelling at it to stop. My body started shaking with every slam to the door and I was now crying, pissing myself  in terror when suddenly gunshots were fired off.

There was one last thud on the door and then it was quiet. A ringing sounded in my head until I could make out people's voices. I got up from the piss covered floor, tried to catch my breath. With sweaty palms, I slowly opened the door, and saw that big ostrich laying outside, blood creeping out of its feathers, and its large black eyes still open, still looking at me.

Annie Williams is a writer based in Fraser, Michigan who is currently studying creative writing at Oakland University. She has two poetry collections, “Optimistic Heart, Pessimistic Mind,” and “The Blue Mirage.” Her work has also appeared in publications such as Swallow The Moon, Fatal Flaw Literary Magazine, Nuestras Voces, and Wingless Dreamer Publisher. When she is not writing she is either rocking out at a concert or staying at home watching a horror movie.