One-Hundred Donuts Every Day

Every single morning,

every single morning,

I head out to the local donut shoppe and get me myself some boxes, eight donut boxes, the 12-packs, eight stuffed-to-the-brim boxes of yeast, sweet donuts, and then four more for an even one-hundred, and I says to the donut shoppe lady, the lady who picks the donuts, I say this every time,

listen to what I says here, I says, "Donut Lady, I'm gonna go home and eat these all before sundown and then I'll be back here again tomorrow morning for another hundo o' do' no's" and I say that to her every morning,

every day,

every time,

just like that, “hundo do’ no’s” and she laughs about it, and we both have a laugh about it, and she's laughin' as she's packin' boxes and boxes, donuts and donuts, and I tell her to choose random donuts. She’s the donut lady in the donut shoppe and I trust her with my donuts and she should just choose random donuts, and she does. She chooses the donuts randomly, the same randomly, the same random assortment every time,

every pick the same every time,

and the guys behind me, they're usually not in a hurry, never once are they in a hurry, and they watch the donut lady load the donuts in the donut boxes, and then those four extra, and they're havin' a laugh about it because that's a lot of donuts, every day,

that's a lot of squishy donuts, and ya gotta laugh, because that's a lot of donuts, and this is every morning,

every day,

and so, the whole donut shoppe is havin' a laugh about all these donuts, a hundo of do’ no’s, one-hundred yummy donuts, and I got my money out already, same price every time,

same amount of donuts every time,

Almost two-hundred smackaroos, almost two-hundred bones, almost two-hundred bucks every day,

every morning,

every day,

and I pay it, I pay it every time

while we're all havin' a laugh, she's laughin', the donut shoppe lady is laughin', and I'm laughin' as I set down the cash, count it out, count out each bill and make sure it's right, same every morning,

same amount of money in my pocket every time,

every day,

every morning,

and we're laughin', and the other guys are laughin', they’re laughin’ hard about it, and that yeasty smell is filling the air, filling the donut shoppe, filling my nose, and my mouth is watering, salivating, drooling, dripping out of my mouth, but I catch the drool with a handkerchief, the one I bring with me to the donut shoppe every day,

every morning,

every single day

when I get my sugary donuts, one-hundred donuts, and she's got the boxes packed, stacked, stacked high, all eight boxes stacked up high, and in one bag too, one bag plus four more donuts for an even one-hundred, and I'm laughin' and she's laughin' and everyone is laughin' because that’s a high stack, that's a big stack, that's a big stack of donuts, big stack, and she takes the money, and I say the thing, I say to her, "Donut Shoppe Lady, I'm gonna go home and eat these all before sundown and then I'll be back here again tomorrow morning, every morning,

for another hundo o' do' no's" and she laughs, always laughs, and I laugh, and I got my donuts, my one-hundred donuts, my huge stack of donuts, and she's got the money, good money, hard earned money, donuts make money, gotta pay for the donut shoppe donuts, gotta pay almost two-hundred smackaroos for the sugary donuts, and I take the donuts in my car, and I'm laughin' because they hardly fit, hardly fit in my car, the big stack of donut boxes barely fit in my car, and I'm driving home, driving and laughin', laughin' because of the donuts, because of the one-hundred donuts in my car, filling my car, filling my nose with the smell, the delicious donut smell, the smell of one-hundred delicious donuts, and it's hard to see, always hard to see with my small car and so many donuts, and I crash, every day

I crash, every morning

I crash,

I crash because I can't see, because I'm laughin', laughin' about the donuts again, headfirst, always head first, every morning,

every day,

after I get the sweet donuts, one-hundred donuts, and the donuts fly everywhere, all over, out of the boxes, the stacked boxes and all over the car, and I fly out of the car, through the windshield, no seatbelt on, never wear a seat belt, every day

no seat belt, I always forget and I'm launched, I'm still laughin' and I'm launched out of the car, so many donuts launched too, through the windshield, through the hole I made, and I see them, as I'm flying I see them, I see the donuts, I see the one-hundred donuts in slow-motion hanging in the air, hanging in the air before I land, before I crash, before I land one-hundred feet from my car, one-hundred donuts, I land one-hundred feet from my car, and it hurts, my body breaks, my body shatters, my body splatters, and the donuts land, they land softly, they land gently, and I'm laughin', I'm laughin', I'm laughin' because the donuts, so many soft donuts, one-hundred delicious donuts, and my vision fades as I'm laughin', the donuts roll on the street and I'm laughin' as my vision fades, and the last thing I see is the donut shoppe donuts, and then I open my eyes again, I open my eyes wide open, I'm awake, I'm driving, same morning, every morning

the same morning, and I'm heading to the donut shoppe, heading to the donut shoppe, heading to the local donut shoppe every single morning

to get myself some boxes, eight dozens of donuts stuffed to the brim with one-hundred puffy, squishy, delicious donuts, and I gotta laugh, I gotta laugh about it because it's like this every single morning,

every day,

every day,

always like this every day,

same morning, same day, same morning, same day, same donuts, one-hundred donuts every morning

the same.